When you tell a narcissist that you want a divorce, be prepared for a storm of emotional drama. Many spouses who are married to a narcissist avoid even bringing up the topic for fear of the unknown. How will they handle divorce? What will their reaction be? To say that a narcissist doesn’t handle divorce well is an understatement.
How Does a Narcissist React to Divorce?
When asking for a divorce, a narcissist’s first reaction, because everything is about them, will likely be “how can you do this to me?” or “why are you abandoning me?” They are in utter disbelief that they have made you unhappy and that you are turning their life upside down.
how to Tell a Narcissist You Want a Divorce
It can be challenging to gauge a narcissist’s reaction to their spouse breaking the news that they want a divorce. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind when telling a narcissist spouse that you would like a divorce:
- Be straight-forward and general in your reasons
- Do not identify your spouse or certain behaviors they exhibit as specific problems
- Have law enforcement nearby or notified if you suspect your spouse may become violent
- Do not get emotional, be as calm as possible
- Do not go back on your decision
They are often unpredictable, and if they have a history of abuse, things may get ugly. In this case, it is usually recommended that you seek a professional who can guide you through breaking the news and ensuring that everyone stays safe.
Because narcissists cannot take responsibility for their actions, they will blame you for the current state of the relationship and the divorce. Their immediate reaction to the divorce may be to blame you and the children for their shortcomings.
They are incapable of feeling empathy for others, but they may fake it if they think it will get them what they want. In this way, your narcissist may pretend to understand where you’re coming from and twist things around to make you feel as if it is your fault and you are the one that needs to change.
Narcissists During Divorce
The divorce itself will be an uphill battle because a narcissist must always be right. A narcissist will fight you on child support, property division, and alimony. It’s not uncommon for them to try and hide assets and income, too.
During this time, the charm and manipulation of a narcissist may keep others, like the judge, from seeing their real character. After all, it probably took years for you to notice this side of them. This is why it is vital to work with a Pensacola divorce lawyer who understands high conflict divorces. When skilled legal professionals are involved, it can make the process less stressful for you and your children.
Autumn Beck Blackledge PLLC is here to support you through this emotional time. To set up a consultation, call (850) 404-7263 today.